Skirts Should Have Pockets
by Alanna official
Summary: Philinda Undercover. Coulson and May need to retrieve something undercover, and somehow they end up in a bit of a sticky situation.


**Author's Note:**

 **The office mission. For my contribution for Philinda Undercover, this is the 8th mission.**

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The sound of her heels on the marble floors resounds through the corridor as they make their way towards the office. He's walking a few steps behind her as per their cover but it also gives him a great view to admire her outfit. A short little black pencil skirt with a matching jacket and white blouse. It's not often he gets to see May in a skirt so he's going to appreciate the opportunity. She's chatting away to the CEO of the firm, smiling and laughing, even going so far as to place a hand on his arm. The man's charmed and Coulson knows it, the poor sucker, he has no idea what he's got himself into. He knows how enticing his partner can be, an asset that they've made use of on a number of missions undercover. That doesn't mean that he has to like it though, especially with the way that the other man is eyeing her, it's _so_ obvious.

"Please, take a seat," he gestures to a chair in front of his desk as they enter the room.

Taking a stance in the corner of the room Coulson watches as May sits in the chair, arms draped across the armrests with legs crossed. She delivers the man a flirty look as she leans forward almost conspiratorially.

"So, enough chit chat, are you going to show me your latest break through?"

It makes him want to deck the guy as his eyes linger on the open top of May's blouse.

"Of course," he says with a cocky look as he leans back in his chair but makes no further movement.

She tilts her head at him in an expectant manner encouraging to continue.

"I would prefer if this was just between you and I," he states with a clear look in Phil's direction.

The smile she gives him is practically sugar sweet, but Phil can read her hidden repulsion at the man before her.

"My bodyguard stays," she states simply with a raise of her chin.

He almost wants to laugh at their cover, _he_ as _her_ bodyguard! The whole idea seems completely absurd to him but to anyone who doesn't know Melinda, it would seem like a fitting arrangement. After all, no one ever suspects the tiny little Asian woman. She and the man seem to have some sort of stare down as Coulson watches them both silently. The man cracks first, of course. No one has ever beaten Melinda in a staring contest and he doubts that anyone ever will be able to. Romanov and Fury can give her a pretty good run for her money but her ability to withstand not blinking and barely breathing is seriously unnerving. She can do it so well it can at times seem as if she has simply died or become an actual statue. It's actually kinda creepy.

"As you wish," the main finally says before reaching for a button beneath his desk.

A panel slides open in the wall next to his desk to reveal a small black case about the size of his palm. Retrieving the case he returns to his seat where he opens it up displaying the object within. It's a small computer chip, so small but so lethal. It has the potential to do a lot of damage and wreak a world of havoc, which is why they need to get to it before somebody else does.

"May I?" May asks gesturing to the case.

He nods in confirmation and she picks it up making a scene of marvelling at it and praising him on his work. He seems to quite visibly puff up at her words, completely distracted and unaware as she swaps the chip with a double that she had hidden beneath her watch.

"A true thing of beauty," she tells him as she hands it back to him.

As he turns to replace the case in the panel she slips the chip into her bra discreetly. Damn skirt doesn't have any pockets, and she can't risk it falling out. Why isn't it mandatory that all skirts have pockets?

An alarm suddenly goes off as he closes the panel and he spins around with a gun in hand pointed at her. She sits still in her chair watching him as she notes Phil preparing for a fight, watching him in the corner of her eye.

"What did you do to it?!" He demands dangerously angry.

The panel must have had some sort of sensor that recognised that the chip had been tampered with.

"What did you-"

He suddenly falls to the floor unconscious as a flash of blue flickers behind her.

"Thanks," she smiles at her partner with a roll of her eyes, "but I had it covered."

He smiles back walking over to the unconscious man and giving him a solid kick to the gut.

"Of course you did," he says simply, "but I've been wanting to do that all day."

He grins at her earning himself a laugh as she slaps him lightly on the arm for his childishness.

"We should get out of here before security comes," she tells him as she opens the door checking that the coast is clear.

She curses her shoes as they walk, the heels seeming extremely loud in the empty and silent corridor.

"I think it's a left here," Phil says directing them around the corner.

He is quickly pulled into a room by May as he rounds the corner, her finger on his lips telling him to be quiet. 'Security' she mouths to him as he watches her in the dim light of the office she's pulled them into.

"You still got the chip?" He asks her quietly.

She smirks at him as she reaches into her bra to pull out the chip. He swallows slowly watching her intently.

"I really like that outfit," he whispers in her ear to which she chuckles.

"But it doesn't have pockets!" She mock gasps at him.

He smiles at her, enjoying the brief moment of ease. Just him and her, not worrying about the security that they'll somehow manage to work their way past sooner or later, or the fact that they're once again outmanned and outgunned on a mission undercover. Taking a step forward he moves so that she is before him leaning against a desk.

"That's _my_ favourite bit," he whispers in her ear teasingly with just a hint of suggestion.

She looks up at him curiously with a tilt of her head. They're hidden away in a little office whilst they wait for the security to go past and the coast to clear. How long it takes for the coast to clear depends so they may be stuck for a bit.

"Don't people usually make out in offices?" He asks her with just a hint of a smirk as he tilts his head to the side.

Rolling her eyes at him she reaches an arm around his neck bringing his lips towards hers.

"You're such an idiot," she mutters quietly.

"But I'm your idiot," he grins at her before closing the distance between them and capturing her lips with his.

He loses himself in her and almost doesn't hear the sound of the door opening. It doesn't matter however as the security guard, realising that he is intruding on yet another office couple, quickly mumbles an apology before exiting the room with a loud click of the door as it shuts heavily. If anyone asks them, they were kissing purely to maintain cover.

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 **A/N**

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